June 14, 2009
I was on my way to town tonight, because my children are sick and I was taking advantage of Perry being here, and starting thinking about Madeline. I am a little upset that she is so sick right now and praying that it is not RSV. I don’t know if it was because I read on my support group today that another one of the children passed away, or just my sin, but before I knew it, I was planning Madeline’s funeral. I started crying and then soon thought, "Why am I thinking these things, I am not taking every thought captive." I am ashamed of myself. The Lord has been so faithful to us thus far, why would I ever doubt His sovereignty in our lives? I think, well I know, that I have some serious sin problems that are rearing their ugly heads more and more it seems. One of them, is worry. I worry about my family ALL the time. I worry about my children ALL the time. To the point where it can keep me up at night. I guess I just doubt whether the Lord will take care of us sometimes, just call me Thomas. Anyway, I covet your prayers so much right now, it seems that I get like this every now and then and forget where my hope lies.
June 1, 2009
A dear sweet friend of mine e-mailed me with some thoughts that I think we have all had at one time or another. She is a believer and sometimes doubts her salvation. I can’t tell you how often I struggled with this when Perry and I first got married. I remember laying in bed at night and crying. When my parents got divorced, for example, I thought that a true believer would handle that situation so much differently than I did. When we moved to Dallas God granted me assurance of my salvation. We had a Pastor who harped on God’s grace and mercy and Christ’s atoning work on the cross. Let me remind you, a believers life is characterized by repentance of sin. We are not perfect, and won’t be until we reach Heaven. There was only one man who walked this Earth that was perfect, Jesus Christ. Let go of those LEGALISTIC thoughts that say you have to work for your salvation! This is simply not true. Christ covers our sins before the most holy God the Father. Now as a side note, you should be obeying God’s commandments out of gratitude, but you are not saved by that obedience…. Love Ya! Rest easy!
May 30, 2009
My little Madeline Grace is growing up so much. It seems like just yesterday I was feeding her in my arms and waking up every three hours to feed her! She is so quirky! She loves to squint her eyes and smile. Every morning when I get her up the first words out of her mouth are, "Dada?" Which is just one of the MANY words she can say! The kid never stops talking to me. She has taken quite a liking to Titus. She has named him Bubba. Ugh, Bubba. What a country bumpkin name! Madeline made it through her first year with three four day trips to the hospital. Each time became harder, especially the last trip when she had Salmonella. What a special gift from God she is, as well as Titus. I ALWAYS had a heart for special needs children. In Fact, on numerous occasions I had told Perry that the Lord has really given me a desire to work with them. I never would of dreamed that I would be a mother to one! Perry told me once that John Piper wrote an article called, "Don’t Waste Your Cancer." This article is meant to encourage cancer patients to see it as a gift and use it to glorify God. I hope to share that with Madeline one day. I would write a book to my dearest daughter entitled…."Don’t Waste Your VLCAD." I pray that she uses VLCAD as a means to glorify our great GOD.
May 28, 2009
I finally got up today and spent time in the Word! It was so refreshing and much needed. I had gone far too long and finally made the decision to start studying each day. It is so hard not to let other things get in the way of my growth. I want my children to know that Christ always comes first. I want them to know that mommy fails, but Christ will never fail them. I get so fearful sometimes that my children will take on my sin struggles. I get one chance to raise them right. I pray that I succeed. So how about you? Do your children see a mommy who chooses to serve the Lord and put Him first? Do they understand the importance of going to church and not forsaking the gathering? Do they see you complaining more than rejoicing? Do they see you serving rather than asking how other people at church can cater to you? I guess more importantly….. Do they see Christ in you? Tough thoughts. Scares me to death.
May 19, 2009
I have to admit, I am in a rut! I have been going on some time now without reading God’s word. I could make excuses, like adjusting to being a mother of two, but it would be a lie. The truth is, I love myself a good bit more than everyone else. I have all the time in the world to read the Word, I just choose not to. why do I find myself doing this year after year, I sympathize with Paul! I know that God’s word is crucial in the life of a believer, so why do I choose not to read sometimes? Beats me! So here is what is going through my mind…
Why do none of my sisters in Christ ask me how my time in god’s word has been? I find that most of the time when I don’t ask them this question it is because I am not doing it myself. Is that it? Are my sisters in Christ not reading their Bible also? Ummmmm….
January 26, 2009
Over the past eight days my husband has not been himself. For the past three years around this time he suffers from what we think are classical migraines, at least that is what the doctor has diagnosed him with for now. During this 8-10 day period our family is completely out of whack. Perry can not function and has a hard time doing anything that requires deep thought. This means that studying, preaching, and sometimes working are out of the question. It also means that mommy has to take care of baby girl 100% and tend to every need of the household. We are so thankful for everyone who has prayed for our family during this time. I try to encourage Perry that he is going to be alright but by day 5, I start to wonder if I am going to be alright! I see more and more during these times why the Lord commands the husband to be the leader of the home. I almost feel like, during these times, that I must step up and lead our home. I just eventually start crying because I was not made to do this! I can’t handle it, I have seen Perry’s job and I don’t want it! I am so thankful that he is feeling better and we are getting back on track now. Thanks again to our church family for bearing with us!
January 16, 2009
Some recent pics of our Friday family fun nights! We love hanging out at home, cooking dinner, and watching a movie!
